Life isn’t all sunshine and roses……..or is it? Anxiety thought me the most valuable lesson there is to learn.
I worry about everything, I always have. I think I always will. Is there a need to worry about everything? Probably not. However I worry because I care, I care about my future, my career, my life right now, I care about it all and I put enormous pressure on myself to achieve higher things. I will admit it, I want to be better than, instead of being the same as.
I often tell people that suffering with Anxiety was the best thing that ever happened me, but it was also the worst. It was hard for me to control all those thoughts in my head so I could actually hear what they were saying. But when I did, my life has never been the same.
Looking back I see suffering with Anxiety as being the worlds way of slapping me in the face, it was telling me to wake up. But initially I didn’t listen, and those slaps began to turn into punches. Finally I had a knockout, but boy oh boy it was the knockout I needed. I had been fighting a never ending battle instead of actually asking why I was being beat up.
My life was terrible and I was bored of doing the same stuff day in day out without any meaning. My good friend Anxiety came to me to tell me something, he knocked on my door and told me I needed to make a change, but I didn’t listen. He spoke repeatedly in my head and then started slapping me in the face.
That was the hard part, being beat up everyday, wondering why my life was so terrible. But the answer had always been staring me in the face, I just feared doing it. All I had to do was start moving, make some changes, I was tired of living that life, but did I try and change it? No. I expected it to get better.
The day I decided to make the changes needed in my life was the day my life started to get better. I am an erratic person, I don’t do half measures, so I went to the route of the problem and quit my job. Something I began to hate with a passion. I decided to find out what else there was in store for me, and at that point I had no idea, but I immediately started to get better from a mental health point of view. Anxiety stopped slapping me in the face and something else took its place, courage. The courage to find out what was possible.
I went after what I believed in and instead of having to keep rowing the boat upriver, life started to flow and everything I imagined just started to fall into its place. I started to realise there was more to my life and I have been enjoying reaching each new level since.
You see life is like a river, it flows, and just like a river, if you stop moving you become stagnant. My mother always told me that you are the captain of your own ship and my god was she right. I hadn’t been a captain for mine for years and it was starting to sink.
My life has been incredible since that day, all I had to do was I make that one initial move, but it has also got harder. I seen first hand what is possible when you are brave enough to try, and I seen how much better my life can be if I keep on trying and believing in the bigger picture that I now have in my mind.
I think about that big picture everyday, I worry about it, I want it to happen. That is why suffering with Anxiety was both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I am now obsessed, I have an infliction, but what a brilliant one to have, I want my life to be this meaningful everyday.
So I say I worry, and most people would consider the fact that I worry as still having Anxiety, but there is a big difference. And I certainly am not held back by Anxiety. Anxiety is fear, it is being afraid of making a change in your life. But worry, worry and ambition go hand in hand. Of course I worry, I know what my life can be, and I am hell-bent on living that way from now on.
So ask yourself this; Are you being slapped in the face? Are you sick of the life you are currently living? Are you sick of being miserable everyday? These are all easy questions to answer but the next one wont be; Have you actually made the one necessary change that is needed? And I don’t mean the beating around the bush minor changes that you might have made, but the one that is the route of the problem, the reason that you are being slapped in the face? The one that means you must listen to those voices in your head instead of ignoring them. Because when you do, your whole world will change, everything about you will change, you will become obsessed, and you will be excited about getting to the next level in your life when you see it right in front of you.
Its time to change level, be the captain of your ship, and drive it out of the fog.